Hungry. Hungry!

Ah, Thanksgiving. The word brings me feelings of contentment, mild gastronomic discomfort, and deliciocity. Until now, I did not associate it with Kimchi, Norah Jones, or secondhand smoke.

8:45 We went to Mad’s (the Irish pub near work) for Thanksgiving. They boasted a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner, complete with ambiance, free alcohol, and all the trimmings (which makes the alcohol part a redundancy). All we needed was 31,000 won ($26). Everyone was hungry when we got to the pub. This may have been because we saved room for a feast. However, I suspect it had more to do with the fact that it was EIGHT FORTY-FIVE AT NIGHT. Chris, the owner of Mad’s, had told us dinner began at nine. If that seems ridiculously late to you, this is because you are sane. Needless to say, we were famished because we’d not eaten since lunch. We played darts to stave off the hunger.
8:55 Anticipation is high. The crowd is milling about awaiting the sight of the bird. People stand in little groups as everyone discusses the arrival of food. We're not the only hungry people in the bar. They start playing a Norah Jones Christmas CD.
9:00 It's time! We're going to eat! Yea!
9:05 Where is it?
9:10 This isn't funny anymore. Where's the freaking dinner? I paid my ridiculously high bill and I drank my cheap wine. Where's the food?
9:15 We inquire as to the whereabouts of dinner. The staff pretends not to understand the question. We know this ignorance is feigned because we talk to them all the time.
9:20 The staff disappears in the kitchen. We must be close.
9:30 Yea! They’re bringing it out! It was worth the wait because they’ve got a turkey and lots of different side dishes—wait, no. They’re appetizers. It’s time for our authentic Thanksgiving appetizers: Kimchi pancakes and lentil soup.
9:31 The food is gone. It was sacrificed to the twenty-five famished patrons who don’t care about authenticity at this point.
9:40 We’re so hungry that even throwing darts seems insurmountable. If this were Victorian England, I would swoon. Of course, if this were Victorian England, the women wouldn’t be allowed in a pub, and we wouldn’t be celebrating Thanksgiving.
9:45 Just when we’ve given up hope and are considering defecting to the McDonalds across the street, Chris comes out with a plate in either hand. Huzzah! We’re saved! We’d dance if we had the energy. We can finally eat!
9:46 Nope.
9:47 We figure out that our table will be the last served. So we wait.
9:55 And wait.
10:00 If I had the energy, I’d steal a stranger’s plate.
10:05 The word “mutiny” is thrown around.
10:10 I am starting to gain sympathy for the Donner party.
10:15 Some of my coworkers appear to have been replaced by visions of talking turkey legs and hamhocks.
10:20 OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod!!! It’s here! There’s turkey, real actual turkey, and potatoes! I see cranberry sauce and stuffing, a Pillsbury crescent roll, some vegetables. It’s beautiful! It’s delicious! It’s … cold.

I paid $26 for a cold turkey dinner served after ten at night.

Okay, I don’t care if it’s a little cold. I finally got my meal. All I need is a little bit of my favorite Thanksgiving staple.

Where did he put the freaking gravy? Don’t tell me.

No.

For the love of God, I’ve been here before. A Thanksgiving without gravy is worse than a Christmas without snow. It just isn’t done. Only a fool would have Thanksgiving without gravy. I’ll go in there and make the freaking gravy myself…

There’s no gravy.

Okay, let’s have a reality check. It is difficult, nigh impossible, to find a whole turkey in Korea. I’m sure it was prohibitedly expensive. Then there’s the fact that he gave us appetizers, one free drink, and a full Thanksgiving dinner (including pumpkin pie at around 11:30 pm). I’m sure it was expensive to make, and there was a bit of effort. Overall, the people I came with were pretty happy with everything.
But I need to point something out. I was under similar circumstances in Italy. I made a Thanksgiving dinner for about half the number of people (15 when I did it). The turkey was wildly expensive, and we had one oven and one stove. We fed everybody on time, and the meal cost us about $7 apiece. Plus we had multiple desserts and drinks.
As a member of a family with lots of experience cooking for crowds, I was pretty disappointed. We would never serve a meal so late, but we would especially never let a cold plate of food leave the kitchen. All of us (even the brat) take too much pride in food to let that happen). And it's not like there were a hundred people at the meal. I'll bet some of you served the same amount of people for Thanksgiving, and you didn't charge everyone.

But still, it was better than I’d expected in Korea (I didn't end up with octopus stuffing or surprise corn kernals in anything, so that's a plus). At least I got turkey on Thanksgiving, even if it was cold, a little dry, and utterly lacking in gravy.

*Sob* Gravy...